I Kissed Alice by Anna Birch

Author:Anna Birch
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Imprint

CHAPTER 16

RHODES

Username: I-Kissed-Alice

Last online: 20m ago

Iliana is a force of nature, practically flying through the door to claim any space between us.

Her voice is thunder, and her eyes are lightning.

Electricity surges in each curl that flies about her face; it crackles and glows over the top of her skin—

Her hands are on me, and her breath is on me, and her hair is on me—

I throw out my arms and push her back.

Disbelief hangs heavy around us.

After everything, this is the first time we’ve ever actually touched each other.

“I fought for my place at the Conservatory.” Iliana is first to break the silence. Her chest heaves. “I fought to be here.”

“Of course you think you’re the only one fighting,” I say.

Sarah, as ever, is alternately hovering between the two of us and trying to blend in with the wallpaper. Kiersten hovers close, hammering away at the phone in her hands as she watches. I throw a hand out in Sarah’s direction as proof.

“Sarah is fighting to be here,” I say. “I’m fighting to be here, too.”

“Sarah doesn’t matter right now!” Iliana is on fire. “This is about you.”

Sarah clutches her cheek as if she’s been slapped, but if Iliana notices she doesn’t care. She’s the sun, burning bright and brilliant. She’s too much to look at like this, a black hole caving in on itself and threatening to subsume me into nothingness.

It takes everything within me not to roll over and show her the soft underside of my belly.

“Your family has given you everything,” Iliana seethes. “They paid out the ass for you to start the Conservatory in the eighth grade. You know why you’ve done Ocoee every year and I haven’t? I can’t afford the two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar entry fee.”

“That’s not fair!” I cry. She isn’t fair. “I am so sorry I’ve had advantages in life that you didn’t have—”

“I know you’re only here because June Baker waived the GPA requirements for you.”

Heat flies to my face. “THAT’S NOT—”

“True?” She rests a hand on her hip. “So why do I know that Randall was the one who talked to her?”

“Iliana—”

No. No. No no no no no.

No one is supposed to know this.

Iliana steps closer. Her eyes are brimming over with tears, and her hands are shaking when she presses one finger into my chest. “I know your secret, Rhodes Ingram. The emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, and you’re failing at everything.”

It never hit me just how bad everything is until now, or the fact that over the past year I’ve lost more than Iliana has ever had. She’s so new at this—so new at everything.

She’ll never understand what it feels like to have nothing left like this.

“You’re going to run out of steam one day, too,” I say. “You’re going to look around yourself and realize everything you’re doing makes you feel like you’re watching paint dry, and you won’t know what to do with yourself anymore.”

She isn’t a malevolent goddess, or a force of nature, or a dying star in a neighboring solar system.

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